Pretty Sure She Dealt It

Flash

So a couple of weeks ago now we went and saw the band Little Red down at the Hi-Fi bar.
To be honest it wasn't great. They didn't come out until 10.30pm and only played an hour set. Meanwhile in the shitty crowd we were in (shitty because 95% of the people there were douches that only knew Slow Motion and Rock It. Not even my favourites. They just stood there for the rest of the songs having no clue what they were) someone kept farting. THE WHOLE NIGHT. Now I assumed these farts were permeating from this blonde "lady" in white.
How did I come to this conclusion?
Well for one thing the farts smelt like girl farts. Not as brutish and in your face as guy face but more sneaky and attacks most of the senses. it was pretty horrendous.
Why did I think it was her?
Well she was in front of us and she looked pretty filthy and I'm sure she was drinking beer which would have added to her uncontrollable bowel issues. Plus her drunk friend was really small. Like really small. Not midget but you could be excused for thinking so.
Plus she looked like she's had kids, probably a single mother, so I bet her parts are pretty loose.
That's not even the end of the story.
After the concert we were walking to the car and we passed some of the band about to have a smoke.
I went up to one of them coz here I was thinking it would be pretty cool.
I'm like 'Hey how you going?'
'Hey man, I'm fucking trashed yeah?' (drops joint) 'Don't have a lighter do you?'
'No I don't. SO how was the show?'
'Oh t was so shit yeah. Not even the best we've played.'

And this goes on for a little while after I become too tired to deal with incoherent drunk talk. But it made me upset that an actual member of the band thought it was a crap gig. Hows about don't get über smashed when performing. Ruined my birthday week.